Discipline is no easy task…..as a mom and as “the teacher”. It’s difficult to play both roles….but in time, something works out (even if it’s for a week…) and can be very rewarding.
Keep it simple and consistent. Over the past 5 years of homeschooling we feel we’ve definitely found that simple works best. We’re not the best with consistency because we continually re-evaluate what works and what doesn’t and this slightly changes our routine. But atleast we’re consistent on being inconsistent…I read where that’s not all bad :-).
There are numerous books out there that give ideas on discipline. Two points I agree with and I’ll stick to: make the consequence fit the crime, and find what they’ll be most upset to “lose”–and take that away if they’re not behaving correctly. I have a friend who grew up with no t.v.–whatsoever, so their form of entertainment were books. When she was in trouble, her books were confiscated. Sounds crazy to most of us who now take away t.v. privileges and hope they’ll read a book! But you get the point…..
So here is our most recent form of School Discipline:
STARS — are earned for exceptional behavior. In our case it’s when our (older) kids get up on their own and start their morning routine (make bed, get dressed, and chores) without constant reminders. During school they’ll get additional stars if they compliment each other on their work, make an effort to write neatly, and listen well to the teacher (me:-) They also have the chance to earn stars all day long if I feel they’ve done a great job–asking to help set the table, putting something away that they got out without being told, or playing well with siblings. It’s all about rewarding them for the behavior that you want to see more of–they’re capable of it!
CHECKS — are given when the kids need a lot of prodding and reminding in the morning or just plain don’t get their things done in time for school. During school they’ll receive a check if they bug each other or are disrespectful to the teacher. The rest of the day they will get a check for undesirable behavior that can carry over to the next morning risking possible homework for the following day.
Scoring: Three checks and they are given 20 minutes of homework after school hours. (Now keep in mind they normally don’t have ANY homework because we complete it all during school.) Every check after three adds 5 minutes of homework time.
However, if they earn stars those help wipe out the checks AND if they have more stars then checks they earn a treat–usually food, but it can sometimes be extra time on the computer or whatever we feel fits the good behavior.
This is quite simple and has worked wonders for us. (We do not even deal with stickers–just a quick handwritten star on a post-it on our cupboard does the trick.) We’ve done it for five weeks now and this past week was the best! Natalie & Bobby woke up every morning before me…got all their stuff done without a reminder and was ready for school on time! This doesn’t always happen, but when it does, it’s SWEET! (Even Marin now asks for a star if she’s been good….she gets one if she stays in her own bed all night long!)
Again I must say, do what works for your family! (This is my motto) I want to know what works for you? Drop me a comment!
Sounds so good. I’m always looking for ways to get through to my kids. Mostly I think it is my inconsistency that leads to stress and frustration. Maybe we’ll have to give stars and checks a go.
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